Sunday, July 30, 2006

Holy Skeletons in the Closet Batman!

A few years ago I drove up from Florida for a visit to my parents on a school holiday. After I had packed my car and was on my way out the door I was saying “Bye” to my dad and in the process I casually asked whom the pictures on his desk were of. “Oh, my first wife”, he responded in an uninterested tone. “Ok, I’ll call you when I get back home. See ya.” “Later”, he called out. I actually made it all the way down to my car and was on my way out of the driveway before it fully hit me; “My first wife”!? I quickly ran back up the steps to see what the hell he was talking about. My dad then explained to me how he had been married before to another woman and then had a divorce a year later. Let me just say that he couldn’t understand why this had struck me so hard. When I asked him why he had never told me he merely replied, “It never came up.”

Today my parents and sister came to visit me in Nevada. While everyone was going through their morning routines my mother leans towards me in her chair and says, “I have to tell you something”. After a little back and forth she tells me that she had had a child before she met my dad and had to give it up for adoption. Also, that he had recently contacted her. I have to tell you here that I used up all my disbelief those years ago on my father’s whole first marriage bit so my reaction was a lot more subdued. Still, when I asked why she had never told me the answer was, again, “It never came up.”

It never freakin’ came up! In twenty-seven years of conversations with these people you’d think that at some point the discussion would have veered close enough to make the leap to this subject, let alone crashing directly into it. That aside, I have a biological half-brother out there. Exciting news really. I read a letter he had sent and saw a picture of him and got a bit of a biography too. Interestingly he had slipped his name into the letter through random capitalized letters. I just happened to be the first one to notice this and subsequently fueled a bit of a frenzy this morning that resulted in my mother writing an email to her first son.

You know as proud as I was to have studied and become an archaeologist it ain’t shit compared to this dude. As unrealistic as this may sound to those who know me and thereby feel that anyone hindered by my family’s genetics should achieve this; I swear it’s all true. He is a PhD in atomic physics and works at a particle accelerator lab. That is a lot to meet up to, but hey maybe this is how all younger siblings feel (I’m new to that feeling).

As curious and exciting as this news is I am rather taken aback. I mean is this it? Ok, my dad had a former wife, my mom had another kid. I am terrified to talk to my grandparents. I can just imagine sitting down in their family room chatting about whatever when my grandmother lets it slip that she worked as a spy during WWII and my grandfather wasn’t really in the armed forces, he was actually a globetrotting jewel thief…”d’you want more ice tea honey?”

9 comments:

Mad Mike said...

WTF...an atomic physics doctor, you are such a dissapointment. This is so like Christmas but in a major bizzaro way. You just don't get shit so huge and world shaking dropped on you when your this old. Just when you have everything figured out. I bet he's better looking than you too.

Da Beef said...

At least it all happened before you came about and not during!!! That would be way more melodramatic. Even when you grow up thinking you have a quasi-noraml family....there is ALWAYS going to be something to come along and burst that bubble....it's called the real world, and in this "real world" ....(imagine me doing the quote fingers along with that :))....people actually do make mistakes sometimes. But really...an atomic physics doctor????....you gotta lot of catchin up to do. Laura just might have to leave you for you wickedly smart-rich half brother!!! You guys take care....I'll talk to you soon....

thousandlegs said...

Well all you can do now to top your genius brother is tell your parents about that time you spent up on Brokeback. That'll throw 'em for a loop. Anyway, congrats on the newfound sibling. Hope to hear some drunken rambling soon.

super_spam said...

I think I agree with your parents' decision to drop this on you at such a late age. You were probably better off not knowing about all this stuff. This is one case where ignorance is bliss.

Don't feel trumped by your recently found half brother. You're doing pretty well with your current degree. In fact, I think people without degrees actually can become more successful than those of us that took the safe route through college. Degrees don't mean squat. It's all about what you can teach yourself.

Ph.d = piled higher and deeper.

PhatPat said...

yeah, when i heard i didn't freak out i was just happy that my mother wasn't about to tell me that she caught my girlfriend cheating on me. maybe i'm too caught up in my own concerns, but it didn't sink in til i got home, and i was like WAIT! WHAT THE F@#$! so i thought it was pretty cool. you grow up knowing your 4 walls and then you find out theres more to it... so long story short my girlfriend didn't cheat on me so thats cool...

Mad Mike said...

Thanks man. It's my own layout, I couldn't wait any longer for outside help so I started with this for now. Reference toxicity is still being hammered out. Oh and I bought my first drum kit last week.

Mad Mike said...

I cant log into my blogger account anymore

Mad Mike said...

Check this out man... a knex machine gun.


http://www.instructables.com/id/E8OGPGQVZREP2881MB/?ALLSTEPS

Anonymous said...

OK. So I'm the new half-brother. Just to clarify a couple of things:

1. I'm not a genius.

2. I'm already married (and I'm not Mormon)

3. I'm not rich.

4. I probably am better looking.