Thursday, June 26, 2008

Girls, Girls, Girls

I found out a week ago, but I was out on session in very remote Nevada. The baby is a girl. I am very happy. Before you all get worked up into a pink and frilly lather though, let me be quite clear. My baby is going to be a tom-boy and awesome to boot. So, no little bonnets and lacey dresses; No pink teddy bears and Barbi dolls. This girl is going to kick ass just like her old man. Not to say that she won’t be a drop dead knock out, who can be just as feminine as any other chick. Think of a cross between Lara Croft, Joan Jett, and Katharine Hepburn.

I’m totally stoked to meet her. I have so much to show her. The only real problems I can think of are the lame, misogynistic activities that are crammed down girl’s throats nowadays. I mean from my limited experience with the girl scouts, it is damn near impossible to go hiking or repelling and don’t even think about not selling cookies. Hell, you can’t even be a dude and be involved as an adult leader. She’ll have to deal with guys always thinking she can’t drive stick (which she will by age five) or that she won’t know anything about cars. The attitudes surrounding all sorts of “this is for boys”, “that is for girls” bullshit.

Still, I won’t get too concerned about it yet. Besides if she is anything like LJ and I she won’t really care about or tolerate people like that. I just can’t wait to have this kid. Man, what a trip. Me…a dad.

I have some pictures. Now, the orange one looks a bit weird because it’s a 3D imaging software that they use, not an actual image from inside the uterus. I also cropped out the umbilical chord for you queasy wusses.

The hand one, I was told by a reliable source, was taken just after my little girl was making another gesture. From the description, and my genetic influences I can only assume it was something like this.

Finally, we are trying to come up with baby names. My personal favorite thus far is Autumn Rose, but LJ isn’t a fan. We have heard suggestions ranging from Carson to Nicollet (ewww). So, if you have any ideas be sure to shoot ‘em our way. I’ll try and keep you updated.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Cold Steel & Hot Lead

*written about five months ago

Well it finally came. My Schofield is here and it is beautiful! I went to pick it up the day after I got back from my last session and I was amazed. This is the first real gun I have ever owned and I must admit that the feeling is a little weird. It came in an unremarkable cardboard box and was wrapped in an, oil soaked, plastic bag. I was astounded at how heavy it was. The thing is a hand-cannon. When I got it home I realized that I needed to not only get a case for it (so I wouldn’t have to keep it wrapped in a rag), but also a trigger lock and an actual gun safe. So, I headed back out to a local hunting store to get all this. It all cost me less than I thought (the remains of my per diem from last session) and I had it all installed before LJ got home.

I bought some ammo as well. Now, this is no peashooter, the thing is a .45 colt; the second largest caliber to be had for any normal hand gun (the shells themselves are actually bigger than any 50 caliber like the Desert Eagle) and it aint cheap. A pack of 50 cost me thirty bucks. Have I gone out and fired it? No, not as yet. Why? Well, let me be honest. I haven’t fired a real gun in years. The last one I did fire was somewhat smaller than this one and I was at a range when I did. Not to mention the gun and the ammo are both expensive as hell. So maybe I’m a little gun shy, not really a pun in this case. I will fire it though, but before I do I want to get eye, and ear protection. Again this is a very big gun and it is going to make a very loud bang, so I just want to be ready.

I did purchase snap-caps. Snap-caps are little mockup bullets that allow you to repeatedly dry fire your gun without damaging it. I got these for the purpose of getting the feel for thumbing and fanning the trigger for practice. However, this particular gun is a “top-break” which means that the barrel and revolver lever forward if a latch is pulled from the top. The latch unfortunately is released by the same motion as fanning your hand back and over the hammer. This could lead to ejecting all your rounds and looking like a complete dumb-ass in front of all the other cowboys. So, I’ve decided that fanning will either take way more control than I currently possess or it is just not the way this gun can be operated. Not that it really matters right now though; as I will be treating the thing like a rattlesnake with another head on it’s ass.

I haven’t, as yet, come up with a good name for it, but I am working on one. I think a gun and a cowboy have to have some history first before a name can come forth. You can’t just slap any old name on your trusty sidearm. It has to be sentimental, hence the whole cowboy romanticism thing. I think LJ would probably resent me using her name and my dog Zeus’ name is just too ostentatious. Maybe I could use my grandmother’s name. She’s tough as nails and I’m sure she packs a hell of a punch. I dunno. It’s still a work in progress.

Further, I don’t need any tired old, clich├ęd, movie reference jokes about shooting my eye out. I’m not one to be superstitious, and it was cute when I had a BB gun, but the thought of a ricocheting .45 slug hitting me in the eye is an idea I want far from my consciousness. If anything tell me I’ll get hamburgers thrown at me or I’ll sit on a tack. You know something unpleasant, yet non-lethal. Plus, I’ll be incredibly careful with it, so try not to worry.

On a completely different note, LJ wants me to grow a beard. Is that out of the blue or what? So I am currently twelve days into “Beard Growth ‘07”. I’ll see where this leads, but so far it is pretty unremarkable.

Epilogue:

I have fired it now, a few times. The fist time I fired it a piece of gun metal dislodged from somewhere and hit me in the cheek (this hasn’t happened since). What you have to realize about guns like this is that they are very open. Automatics, like the kind you see on TV where the magazine is slammed into the grip, are very closed. This is because they use all extra gas and force to chamber the next round. My gun is an exact replica of the ones used almost 140 years ago. The technology was much more rudimentary. So, you have to expect some debris when fired. Anyway, I pulled the metal shard out when I got home with some tweezers and an exacto-knife. Results? I am a piss poor shot, but to quote Hell Boy, “I’m not a very good shot, but this gun uses really big bullets.” Also, my parents got me a training gun that is a .22 colt replica, so I’ll be able to practice more often at way less the cost.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Stand by

Wow, it has really been a while since I posted anything. Why? I dunno, I guess I just haven’t had the motivation. Maybe laziness or apathy. You know, I was sitting up last night and flicking through some old word files on lappy and I came across like three posts that I had written and then never posted. I sat there wondering why I hadn’t. My conclusion was that I had held myself to too high a standard. When I quit writing I had become frustrated with my posts. I felt like the words didn’t flow and that the subjects weren’t that good and that maybe I was getting stale. So, I re-read some of my old posts and realized that I was being too hard on myself. It isn’t like I had any fans, and I wasn’t going to be winning any blog awards. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I will start posting again. I may even post some of the ones that I never published.

That said; in the next couple of days I will post an old one about my schofield, with an epilogue so as to keep everyone up to date. Then I’ll finish up one I wrote about substitute teaching that I need to add a bit more to. After that I hope to start one about the band I’m in. Then…well…we’ll just see. I do feel a bit rusty. All this time not writing has had a serious toll on my style and candor on “paper”. I am somewhat eager to get going again too. Maybe to even revamp my page a bit, but let’s not get too crazy just yet. I would like to chronicle some stuff about my experiences leading up to the birth of my first kid. So, here I am throwing myself back in. Maybe this time for real.