Jesus is my Hommie

Ok, I’m a bad person. I Know I am. I won’t argue the fact. I did something that I am not ashamed of in the slightest and I got scolded for it so I want to tell everyone what I did to confirm, for myself, whether or not this was actually funny.
On Easter, Mike drug me out to a church just up the street. I went willingly enough but for me it was really more of a time-killer. While we were there I thought it would be a hoot to fill out a pamphlet for new members only I put Mike’s name down instead of my own. I filled it all out and put a check next to every organization that the church had to offer and then wrote in that he was thinking of becoming saved but needed some help to do it.
Alright, it was a bit over the top I realize, but people really, I do these kinds of things all the time. I thought that Mike would receive all sorts of “junk” mail that would be kind of annoying and it would be funny for me every time he got the fat envelopes in the mail…for the next year. You know the no one gets hurt, long-term kind of practical joke. Well, today I get a phone call at the house. “Hello, is a Mike ____ there?” “Not right now”, I reply “can I take a message?” “This is _________ from the (Baptist church up the street) and we were just calling to see if Mike wanted to talk about...” The basic gist is that they think they have a ready convert and are taking the direct approach so they can score another soul for the Big Man. I can understand that. So, what else could I do? “Let me give you his cell phone number and email address”, I said “He is really interested in converting.”
Later I found out that they had called Mike at work and pummeled him into a meeting with two Pastors from the church. They want to take him out to lunch; they would even pay for it. Mike was as resistant as he could be without just saying no and he may not even go in the end. When he told me I said that I would go in his stead. Hey, a free meal is a free meal, but Mike felt that that may just be opening the door to more religion based high-jinks not to mention being “morally wrong”. I guess he’s right a joke should only go so far. However, didn’t Jesus say “Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a man some gullible Christians and he could eat…”, well, you get the idea.

On a similar note: Someone came by my work the other day and tried to save my soul by giving me a “tract”. If you don’t know what these are check out the link. They are these little cartoon books that are designed to scare you into becoming a Christian. I was so entertained by the one I got that I had to see more so I went to the manufacturer’s website and read like twenty of them. I have got to tell you people, if you have some time to kill read these things they’re great! Over zealous Christians are funny on so many different levels.
I have no idea who these things are supposed to work on. How many people a year do you suppose read one of these things and decide to convert? I don’t know but it sure is fun to read. My favorites are the ones bashing the Theory of Evolution, Catholics, and gays but there is much, much more! Oh, and I liked reading these things so much that I've added them to my links section...but you'll have guess which link it is.

**If I offended anyone with this article please understand that it was all in good fun and not meant to be condescending or derogative to any one or to Christians in general. I only mock because I care and after all life is funny sometimes.

The Future…The Future…what, what, The Future…

This semester is winding down. Yay! I am so ready to be done. I had a talk with my advisor who has told me that all I need to graduate is one more class (that I can take online for half a semester) and the CLAST (a math exam). Yeah, I’m worried about the math one but the last class is an internet learning course that should be an easy A. I can pass the math test; Hell, if I could get through Spanish 2 I can do almost anything.

So one more half semester in which I really don’t even need to go to a class unless I choose to take something else for shits and giggles. I may, so that I can use the financial aid money. Probably an easy A as well something like basket weaving 101. However, I do want to take something that will look good on my transcript.

Anyway, it’s all coming to an end and I can finally move out of this God forsaken town and start my life. I will walk at the end of fall because they don’t have a ceremony in summer. I guess I will come back for it. I owe everyone who has helped me at least that much. Thanks Mom & Dad, Nana & Pa, and of course LJ. I won’t say I couldn’t have done it with out you (I believe in myself too much to say that), but I will say that it would have been a lot harder than it already was. All of your support both financial and emotional and even sometimes academic has been an incalculable aid to me.

Now, I just need to get out there and get a job and start kicking some ass. When I put my mind to finish something I almost always succeed so now it will be career and money.

Lots of Stuff

Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve posted and I’m sorry. I really like doing this it’s just hard when I have to make time to come all the way over to the computer lab to do it because my computer is shot for the time being. Not to mention my wife hates for me to leave her alone for any amount of time. So, I guess in this post I will bring you up to snuff with some of the highlites that have happened to me in the last week and a half.

First up: I am having issues waking up in the morning. Consequently I have missed a few of my early Art Critique classes. I believe I have found the cause however. It appears that LJ is a habitual alarm snoozer and turner-off’er, this means that though the alarm may be set appropriately I may only get the smallest window of time to hear it before it is shut off by my half-dazed, groggy wife.

Solutions? Since it is likely that I might do the same it has been mutually decided that merely moving the clock to my side of the bed will do no good. It is then apparent that we must get a new alarm clock.

This opens up a whole new argument however. Who gets this new alarm clock? Also, who gets to choose the style? I believe that I should get it as I am the one who has been inconvenienced for the last two weeks. However she asserts that it should be her right as it is technically my alarm clock on her side of the bed. I feel this argument is preposterous though because we are married now and the clock was brought into the marriage ergo it is both of ours. I want a cool and fun clock that looks like a robot or something and she thinks that’s childish. If you have any suggestions on how to resolve this then just comment below, or send a link to some cool alarm clock sites. Moving on…

Next: My parents and brother and family friends came down last weekend and we played paintball. I would like to take a moment now and say how disappointed I am at some people who shall remain nameless. I talked to about four people, outside of the ones already coming down, to join our paintball game. Two of these four were kind of last minute so I understand their not showing up. They also told me that they had work on that day and may not be able to come. That’s understandable. DeWey even called to tell us he couldn’t make it on the day and offered his gun in his stead (for anyone else who wanted to use it, a very cool gesture I might add. Thanks DeWey). Now the other two I am a bit pissed at. Not only had they known about the game for a month in advance but they gave me their word they would be there on time and ready to play. Did they call to cancel? No. Did they send their regrets later? No. They just decided to no-show and leave us in the lurch for players.
Paintball, for those who don’t know, has the same needs as a basketball game. You need even teams and you need enough to make it fun. I am upset because I thought these guys were a lock and they decided to snub us. Not cool. We still played though and it was still fun. Let me give you the stats.

• Most Improved Player: Courtney, for his magnificent comeback after playing so blowfully early on.
• Most Likely to go “Ape-Crazy”: Patrick, for his tree shaking anger display.
• Most Likely to Take a Shot to the Face: Adam, for taking many repeated rounds to the face.

And Finally….

• MVP: Mike, for his outstanding playing all around.

Good job guys. Thanks for playing.

Finally: I have decided what to do for my art project! If you can recall I was having a lot of difficulty with what I should do to represent myself artistically. I think I will bring in some of the shirts I have stenciled. I feel that not only are they, for the most part, my own creation but they also show a side of me that reflects my personality to some degree. More so than a giant 5 foot poo. I am working on a political design now that is kind of a slap at Social Security... I can’t wait. I’ll post pictures of all my works when I am finished. Anyway, nice to post again. I’ll write more soon.