Hollywoooood!!!!

...You've screwed with the wrong dude.

I went to see Ghost Rider today with a buddy. The movie was a flaming pile, but that isn’t the point of this post. I was watching the previews when a romantic comedy trailer came on. Halfway through I recognized something that seemed rather familiar…

Check out the trailer then read on (anyone without high-speed Internet, too bad. I told you to get it and that it was cheaper than the dial-up you have now)

Did you see it? About two thirds of the way through? He’s sitting in the playhouse and playing fetch with the children. Now, where o’ where could I have seen that before? Hmmmmmm, perhaps right friggin’ here a few years back! I swear to God if they had been swinging Boxaboo's© at the begining, I would have the right to sue. Hollywood, you thieving unoriginal assholes! If there is one thing I’ve learned from the past couple of weeks its that I can do it better…and I’ve decided I will. That’s right you fat cat jerks, I’m gonna write my own screen play and its gonna be great. I mean it too, no jokes. I am pissed as hell that crap factories like Ghost Rider and Little Miss Sunshine get all sorts of praise while other great movies like Sin City and Foxy Brown get snubbed by the Academy. Incidentally both those directors got together and are coming out with Grindhouse; I can’t wait.

So there you go. Do I know what the story is gonna be about? Not really. Do I have a premise, plot or budget? No. Will it ever hit a major studio? Well only if it is flung from my car as I am driving by screaming obscenities. Still, that is the way Evil Dead was made and many others and by God I can do it too. So if you want a part you better start sending me head shots and bio’s cause I got a feeling the roles are gonna fill up fast.

Little Miss Sunshine

This morning I was at work listening to NPR when a story came on about the up coming Academy Awards and one of the nominees for best picture Little Miss Sunshine. The interview was full of softball questions and arrogant comments made by the writer/directors. During the entire interview something was nagging me at the back of my consciousness. It finally came to me around the time one of the co-directors was likening the scenes with the family pushing the car to a start to a big Hollywood dance number; this movie has been done before.

I then began to recount through my mind the plot and individual characters and scenes in the movie National Lampoon’s Vacation. Tell me this plot summary couldn’t be for either film.

The _____ family embarks on a hilarious cross-country trek in their broken down vehicle. Along the way the grandparent dies, the father comes to grips with his life and the mother tries to keep the family together. There are run-ins with cops, several life lessons and colorful characters. Finally, the family makes it to their destination only to find it isn’t what they expected and that only by coming together as a family can they salvage the trip.

I thought best picture was supposed to be about originality and so on. It is unbelievable that this movie was accepted as a nominee. Now, I will admit that the characters are darker (the suicidal uncle, overly angsted teen, and the drug using grandfather), but damn it, those are new modern day stock characters. The mothers even dressed virtually the same in both films.

If you don’t believe me then rent both and tell me they aren’t the same picture just separated by a generation and rewritten by some preening ass, who would pass off a work of comedy as his own “art”. Son of a bitch. Personally, I felt that national lampoon did a better job of making the film entertaining.

There you have it kids. Great things can be accomplished through plagiarism. Don’t bother writing your own reports just change some words around, dress it up differently. You never know you may just win a prestigious award someday off of someone else’s back.

*This post not plagiarized. Not even the picture, though I know it looks totally awesome.