Let There Be Science

This will be a long one…

I heard a news story recently about how Texas was going to be ordering new science text books for their public schools. What caught my attention was that due to printing costs the publishers of the textbooks only use the ones sold to Texas as the format for the rest of the country. So, what the schools board of Texas tells them they want included or excluded will be what the rest of the nation gets. The conflict for me is that the Texas school board is asking that Creationism and Intelligent Design be included and that the Theory of Evolution be downplayed. They will do this by turn of phrase and disclaimers like the stickers placed in Cobb county school books.

And here we go again. You know I have had this conversation with several people since hearing about it and I always get the same series of points. “Our founding fathers were religious and never intended to take God out of the public forum”, and “Well, if God shouldn’t be in schools why is it printed on our money?” and the old standby “Why shouldn’t children be taught all sides of the issue and allowed to make up their own minds?” I can’t tell you how tired I am of that bullshit.

First: The United States Constitution at no point even mentions the word God, Deity, or Higher Power. Not in the preamble or in the articles or in the ratification. The only part that has anything to do with spirituality is the first amendment which states “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. “
Now, though some might interpret this as a blank check to start infusing government with religion (especially the Christian religion ) lets look at the original wording so you can see what the thought process of the founding fathers was. "The civil rights of none shall be abridged on account of religious belief or worship, nor shall any national religion be established, nor shall the full and equal rights of conscience be in any manner, or on any pretence, infringed.'' - James Madison (Original wording of the First Amendment; Annals of Congress 434 (June 8, 1789).) Let me just emphasize that; No one group gets any more say than another, no national religion, no ones rights infringed. That means everyone who isn’t a Christian should have equal representation.
I’m sure some of you might argue that our founding fathers were Christians so it can be easily inferred that they meant the Judeo-Christian ethic should be put first as that is the basis of our American society. Alright, lets just pound this home for you all. "As the Government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian religion; …” - (Treaty of Tripoli, 1797 - signed by President John Adams.) There it is, clearly stated by a founding father that America is not founded solely on the Christian faith.

Second: The whole “In God We Trust” on our money and the “Under God” in the pledge. Ok, the phrase “In God We Trust” was added to our currency and adopted as the “national motto” during the red scare of the 1950’s spearheaded by the rightwing religious organization The Knights of Columbus and fueled by McCarthyism. The phrase was added to freaking everything and religious texts and wording were put into schools and public buildings across the nation much like the mandatory display of swastikas in Germany during the previous decade. It basically put out the notion that If you aren’t with us, then you aren’t American. Kinda like the fervor in the beginning of the Iraq war. The original U.S. motto was “E Pluribus Unum” (from many, one), a much more fitting phrase to describe our nation if you ask me. “Under God” has much the same story and was added to the pledge. The pledge of course was made mandatory in 1940 and then later repealed on the basis of the first amendment. Summation; “In God We Trust” was not the American motto laid down by our forefathers and is actually quite counter to their ideals and linked very strongly to a disturbing time in our past.

Third: Tyranny of the majority, is an idea that if unchecked a simple majority will ruin this country by making unfair, unbalanced, and unequal. James Madison wrote in Federalist Paper 51: "It is of great importance in a republic not only to guard the society against the oppression of its rulers but to guard one part of the society against the injustice of the other part. If a majority be united by a common interest, the rights of the minority will be insecure." It may be overwhelmingly popular to do something that the people want but, the freedoms of others and the separation of church and state must come first. Yes, Christianity is the largest religion in the country and it is for that reason we must work all the harder to make sure that its tenants don’t start tainting everything or soon we won’t have a democracy it will be a country like Iran. Public schools especially should be free from any political, social and religious agendas due to the diverse nature of the families that attend them.

In conclusion it is right that Intelligent Design and Creationism be taught in places where these beliefs can be shared by the group that wishes them taught. Places like private schools that are not funded by the state or federal government and in Sunday Schools. However, due to the nature of these ideas it is wholly improper for them to be taught in science classes. A science class is a place where theories are gathered from unbiased sources and where they can be changed and challenged. Religion on the other hand is doctrine and must remain unchallenged. The only basis for these ideas is a belief in God and the evidence stemming from one source, the Bible. Further, the ideas of some are not the ideas of all and if the classroom must play host to one religion’s ideas on creation they would have to play host to all. For these reasons it is imperative that religion not play a part in our public education programs. Benjamin Franklin once said "When a Religion is good, I conceive it will support itself; and when it does not support itself, and God does not take care to support it so that its Professors are obliged to call for help of the Civil Power, it is a sign, I apprehend, of its being a bad one."

Whoooo are You?

Alright! Jeeze, don’t you people understand writer’s block/laziness/boardom/14 hour work days? Fine, filling in for the last nine months…

So, nine months ago LJ was getting to be pretty pregnant, not just a little, but like really pregnant. Then everything just kinda shifted. It’s a hard thing to express, but it was one of those life-changing moments like when you have sex for the first time. You lay there next to whoever and think back to all the health classes, church sermons and after school specials and you say to yourself “Wow…that’s it? That was what all the hype was over? I mean damn it was fun-n-all, but really that’s all there is to it? Did I do it right or is everyone else just too high-strung?”

I guess what I mean to say is that with everyone coming at me with the monumental moment it was supposed to be, all the Hallmark bullshit, all the “Oh your lives are going to change so much now”, or “How does it feel?” You’d think you were supposed to be instantly a changed man. Right?

This is my blog and on this blog I have always felt that I should cut away any artful double-speak and flowered lies. On this blog from me to you, the reader, it’s truth time. Well, I can tell you definitively. Right here and now that I feel exactly the same as I did the minute before LJ asked me “Do you remember when I had my last period?” I still have a passion for guns and action movies. My xbox time remains unchanged. And I still drop the F-bomb* on occasion.

While my life has changed to some degree, my opinions, attitudes, and lust for adventure and all things new remains unaltered. This, however, is not to suggest that I was not excited to see my child for the first time or that I am only self interested. I love my Daughter and all the things she represents. I am merely stating (mostly to the men out there, except those emotional types who think Fall-Out Boy is cool and own at least one pastel polo shirt) that having a child is not this cornerstone event in a dude’s life. Now, for a woman…yeah, probably and for many good reasons. But, for a guy, eh not from what I can see yet. It is only one moment in a long chain of life’s moments.

As an example: This Christmas my parents and grandparents went in on a big gift for me. They told me it was going to take a while due to some shipping issues, but that I should be on the lookout for a large box on my patio. As the weeks passed I grew more and more anxious. Then finally one day, between sessions, there was a knock at the door. The UPS guy had this enormous box by his feet. I quickly signed the ledger and yanked the package inside. As I did I noticed a Land’s End logo on the side. “Eh”, I thought. “Probably just the largest box they could find. My dad orders a lot of stuff from Land’s End after all.” So, with LJ on the couch I rip into the box with all sorts of anxiety. What could it be? It was kinda heavy, and I could feel the contents shifting inside. My stomach was in a knot.

Button-down shirts, slacks. My mind is racing, “This can’t be right.” I said to LJ, noticing a slightly pitying expression on her face. I go back to the box. Another button-down shirt (this one yellow, Yellow?!). I check the delivery address. “Oh my God.” I say, looking up to LJ. “It was sent to the correct address. (back to the box) My family bought me a…blazer.” I held it up for Laura to see. “Oh, I’m sorry sweetie” she says, as though to a child who is hoping for a cool ray-gun from his distant relatives and instead gets socks. Not even cool socks, but argyle.

While I appreciated the gesture. Truly I did. I am just not the kinda guy who will ever, EVER, wear that kinda stuff. But, I feel this illustrates how people get when a child is brought into your life. “Well, you’re a father now. Time to shave your Mohawk, wear douchey clothing, and eat Cinabon’s at the mall.” Let me tell you. No sir! NO! Being a good father and role model, at least in my mind, has nothing to do with how you choose to look. After all, screw everyone else. I let them dress the way they want; let them do the things they want to do and don’t judge them for it. I should get the same deference. Here is the bottom line. I have a good job where I am respected by my peers and clients. I spend as much time with my family as I can and I am a good influence (well, as far as I can tell). So, don’t think I’m a different person. I’m not. Having a baby was one of the best things that ever happened to me and I don’t want her to know anyone other than who her father really is. So, having a baby is a big life event, however it is not a life changing one. Unless you mean it in regards to the comparative amounts of dirty diapers I changed then as compared to now of course.

And to my family. I want you to understand that I know the Christmas gift was sent out of love. I am not ungrateful. I just didn’t want to have a bunch of clothes in the back of the closet gathering dust. So, I returned them and got something a little more likely to see some use; a little more me. I got a bitch’n Snowboard, and I love it! Thank you so much. I love you all.

*Fuck. Yeah, you were probably wondering if I had forgotten. How could I ever forget a hanging profanity? Don’t you people know me at all?

Testing

This is a test, Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Girls, Girls, Girls

I found out a week ago, but I was out on session in very remote Nevada. The baby is a girl. I am very happy. Before you all get worked up into a pink and frilly lather though, let me be quite clear. My baby is going to be a tom-boy and awesome to boot. So, no little bonnets and lacey dresses; No pink teddy bears and Barbi dolls. This girl is going to kick ass just like her old man. Not to say that she won’t be a drop dead knock out, who can be just as feminine as any other chick. Think of a cross between Lara Croft, Joan Jett, and Katharine Hepburn.

I’m totally stoked to meet her. I have so much to show her. The only real problems I can think of are the lame, misogynistic activities that are crammed down girl’s throats nowadays. I mean from my limited experience with the girl scouts, it is damn near impossible to go hiking or repelling and don’t even think about not selling cookies. Hell, you can’t even be a dude and be involved as an adult leader. She’ll have to deal with guys always thinking she can’t drive stick (which she will by age five) or that she won’t know anything about cars. The attitudes surrounding all sorts of “this is for boys”, “that is for girls” bullshit.

Still, I won’t get too concerned about it yet. Besides if she is anything like LJ and I she won’t really care about or tolerate people like that. I just can’t wait to have this kid. Man, what a trip. Me…a dad.

I have some pictures. Now, the orange one looks a bit weird because it’s a 3D imaging software that they use, not an actual image from inside the uterus. I also cropped out the umbilical chord for you queasy wusses.

The hand one, I was told by a reliable source, was taken just after my little girl was making another gesture. From the description, and my genetic influences I can only assume it was something like this.

Finally, we are trying to come up with baby names. My personal favorite thus far is Autumn Rose, but LJ isn’t a fan. We have heard suggestions ranging from Carson to Nicollet (ewww). So, if you have any ideas be sure to shoot ‘em our way. I’ll try and keep you updated.

Cold Steel & Hot Lead

*written about five months ago

Well it finally came. My Schofield is here and it is beautiful! I went to pick it up the day after I got back from my last session and I was amazed. This is the first real gun I have ever owned and I must admit that the feeling is a little weird. It came in an unremarkable cardboard box and was wrapped in an, oil soaked, plastic bag. I was astounded at how heavy it was. The thing is a hand-cannon. When I got it home I realized that I needed to not only get a case for it (so I wouldn’t have to keep it wrapped in a rag), but also a trigger lock and an actual gun safe. So, I headed back out to a local hunting store to get all this. It all cost me less than I thought (the remains of my per diem from last session) and I had it all installed before LJ got home.

I bought some ammo as well. Now, this is no peashooter, the thing is a .45 colt; the second largest caliber to be had for any normal hand gun (the shells themselves are actually bigger than any 50 caliber like the Desert Eagle) and it aint cheap. A pack of 50 cost me thirty bucks. Have I gone out and fired it? No, not as yet. Why? Well, let me be honest. I haven’t fired a real gun in years. The last one I did fire was somewhat smaller than this one and I was at a range when I did. Not to mention the gun and the ammo are both expensive as hell. So maybe I’m a little gun shy, not really a pun in this case. I will fire it though, but before I do I want to get eye, and ear protection. Again this is a very big gun and it is going to make a very loud bang, so I just want to be ready.

I did purchase snap-caps. Snap-caps are little mockup bullets that allow you to repeatedly dry fire your gun without damaging it. I got these for the purpose of getting the feel for thumbing and fanning the trigger for practice. However, this particular gun is a “top-break” which means that the barrel and revolver lever forward if a latch is pulled from the top. The latch unfortunately is released by the same motion as fanning your hand back and over the hammer. This could lead to ejecting all your rounds and looking like a complete dumb-ass in front of all the other cowboys. So, I’ve decided that fanning will either take way more control than I currently possess or it is just not the way this gun can be operated. Not that it really matters right now though; as I will be treating the thing like a rattlesnake with another head on it’s ass.

I haven’t, as yet, come up with a good name for it, but I am working on one. I think a gun and a cowboy have to have some history first before a name can come forth. You can’t just slap any old name on your trusty sidearm. It has to be sentimental, hence the whole cowboy romanticism thing. I think LJ would probably resent me using her name and my dog Zeus’ name is just too ostentatious. Maybe I could use my grandmother’s name. She’s tough as nails and I’m sure she packs a hell of a punch. I dunno. It’s still a work in progress.

Further, I don’t need any tired old, clichéd, movie reference jokes about shooting my eye out. I’m not one to be superstitious, and it was cute when I had a BB gun, but the thought of a ricocheting .45 slug hitting me in the eye is an idea I want far from my consciousness. If anything tell me I’ll get hamburgers thrown at me or I’ll sit on a tack. You know something unpleasant, yet non-lethal. Plus, I’ll be incredibly careful with it, so try not to worry.

On a completely different note, LJ wants me to grow a beard. Is that out of the blue or what? So I am currently twelve days into “Beard Growth ‘07”. I’ll see where this leads, but so far it is pretty unremarkable.

Epilogue:

I have fired it now, a few times. The fist time I fired it a piece of gun metal dislodged from somewhere and hit me in the cheek (this hasn’t happened since). What you have to realize about guns like this is that they are very open. Automatics, like the kind you see on TV where the magazine is slammed into the grip, are very closed. This is because they use all extra gas and force to chamber the next round. My gun is an exact replica of the ones used almost 140 years ago. The technology was much more rudimentary. So, you have to expect some debris when fired. Anyway, I pulled the metal shard out when I got home with some tweezers and an exacto-knife. Results? I am a piss poor shot, but to quote Hell Boy, “I’m not a very good shot, but this gun uses really big bullets.” Also, my parents got me a training gun that is a .22 colt replica, so I’ll be able to practice more often at way less the cost.

Stand by

Wow, it has really been a while since I posted anything. Why? I dunno, I guess I just haven’t had the motivation. Maybe laziness or apathy. You know, I was sitting up last night and flicking through some old word files on lappy and I came across like three posts that I had written and then never posted. I sat there wondering why I hadn’t. My conclusion was that I had held myself to too high a standard. When I quit writing I had become frustrated with my posts. I felt like the words didn’t flow and that the subjects weren’t that good and that maybe I was getting stale. So, I re-read some of my old posts and realized that I was being too hard on myself. It isn’t like I had any fans, and I wasn’t going to be winning any blog awards. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I will start posting again. I may even post some of the ones that I never published.

That said; in the next couple of days I will post an old one about my schofield, with an epilogue so as to keep everyone up to date. Then I’ll finish up one I wrote about substitute teaching that I need to add a bit more to. After that I hope to start one about the band I’m in. Then…well…we’ll just see. I do feel a bit rusty. All this time not writing has had a serious toll on my style and candor on “paper”. I am somewhat eager to get going again too. Maybe to even revamp my page a bit, but let’s not get too crazy just yet. I would like to chronicle some stuff about my experiences leading up to the birth of my first kid. So, here I am throwing myself back in. Maybe this time for real.

Darth Mark

LJ and I threw a Halloween party last weekend. Too bad it was the weekend after Halloween, so the turn out wasn’t great, but that wasn’t the reason we threw it after all. Some of you may already know this, but for like the last year LJ has been working on a costume for me. “A year!?” you might exclaim. Yes, well perfection takes a while.

You see last year LJ made a Mary Poppins outfit that was bang-on perfect. She sewed together a skirt and a jacket. She knitted a scarf and even went to thrift stores to find just the right hat to then craft into looking exactly like the one Julie Andrews wore in the movie. It looked so good that she even got herself a parrot head umbrella to complete the ensemble. After her success with that she asked if I wanted a costume.

Seeing her prowess behind a sewing machine I knew that I could ask for damn near anything and it would be brilliant, so I asked for the best costume ever…Darth Maul. This turned out to be no easy feat. Not only did this costume require watching Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (the worst of all the Star Wars movies) over and over, it also required gathering little bits of costume data from across the net. You see while Mary Poppins was tricky to make there is about a zero percent chance that a fat, acne scared, virgin Poppins fanatic would pick apart her costume until she snapped. While Star Wars on the other hand is serious nerd territory and if I dawned this costume at any “Con” ever, or just walked past someone who knows what a Con is I would be subject to the strictest reticule. This really put the pressure on to make it exact.

Not to mention the different disciplines this costume required. There was fabric that had to look and flow a certain way. No patterns to go off of and a fair amount of leather work. Not to mention that I would have to wear full head prosthetics and make-up. LJ had to make a body mold of me to work on all the various robes while I was on my sessions. She actually got the whole thing finished the day of the party and I had a friend come over to do my make-up. We started at about 5pm and got done right at 8 (party time). The results? Spectacular. I was photographed all night and people kept asking about my costume. LJ and Nate (the friend) took great pride in this and rightfully so. For my part, I was able to sit still for three hours while having make-up applied, have the right body type, look menacing and kill people with the force.

Oh, I may have neglected to mention but my eyes weren’t photo shopped I am wearing prescription yellow and red contacts. They are great. I can drive or fight Jedi with them in. Since LJ was making the costume so precisely I felt a desire to help complete it with a perfect prop light saber. I had a guy make it for me out of condensed aluminum. Yes, it cost a lot, but damn it, if you are going to go through all the trouble of getting the make-up on, wearing special contacts and having the perfect costume why would you ruin it with some crappy knock-off, plastic toy? This beauty will be mounted on my wall next to all my other swords. Hell, the clasp on my belt is even movie correct.

So anyway, here are some of the pictures taken early on that night because we were worried about my paint coming off; it didn’t by the way.