Monday, March 28, 2005

The Best Girl Ever...

I love my wife. She is without a doubt the coolest, funniest, smartest, and sexiest chick I have ever met. As a married guy in a sea of unmarried people it is hard for me to relate this without sounding “whipped” or like a wimp or whatever. I just really appreciate this girl far more than I can say. She is not just my wife but truly my best friend. On that note I want to relate some excerpts from our recent lives.

*Friday, March 25; 11:30 pm: LJ asks me if I want to go out with her and her friends to a crowded night club in town. I ask if she will be upset if I decline due to my exhaustion from working solidly for the last two days. She says no problem, gives me a hug and kiss, then leaves to meet up with her friends. I stay awake for another hour then fall asleep.

*Saturday, March 26; 7:30 am: I wake up in my bed and turn over to discover that my wife is not there. “Shit, where the hell is she?” I think as I roll out of bed and throw on some clothes. I walk downstairs and into our family room where I find some dude on our loveseat, sleeping. I shrug and find my cell phone. After calling her and receiving no reply I call our roommate Mike. “OK, where is my wife and what the hell happened last night?” I ask. “Oh, hey. LJ and Sara just dropped me off at my truck (which was still downtown). She should be home in a few minutes". "Alright, I'll hear the whole story from LJ when she gets home", I say before hanging up.

Panic is subsiding, so I sit out front to smoke a cigarette and wait for them to drive up. I want to hear all about why she wasn’t in bed this morning, who the guy on the couch is, and why Mike’s truck was downtown.

She drives up with Sara, about five minutes later, and gets out of the car sheepishly. She gives me a hug and tells me the whole story.


The night before they all go to Seville. After it closes they decide to go somewhere that is still open so that they can continue to have fun. Sara suggests Babes, a strip club she has visited before. They all agree and head on. (For all of you who weren’t paying attention: MY WIFE WENT TO A STIP CLUB WITH HER FRIENDS!) After Babes closes they come back to our place and hangout until sunrise. The guy on the couch is Sara’s-cousin’s-friend. Mike left his truck so they could all travel together.

Would most guys be mad about this? Resoundingly yes, I was told by my co-workers. They couldn’t believe that I wasn’t pissed. The thing is though that I trust my wife more than anyone else in the world. She merely went out to have a good time and in the course of the evening ended up at a strip club. She would never cheat on me or do something intentionally that would get her into trouble with me. End Result: I’m not pissed, she has a stronger friend group, and mike got a lap dance as I understand. Good for him…

**Easter 2005: I wake up and head downstairs to find a napkin on the table with a brief message on it. LJ had gone to work at 7 am, but left Mike and I a slew of cleverly hidden eggs all around the downstairs. Not just any eggs though, these were Cadbury Cream Eggs! We spend about thirty or forty minutes looking for these. It was fun on the bun, let me tell ya.

She comes home later and gives me an Easter bucket (that’s right bucket, because she felt that the baskets at Wal-Mart were uber lame, she's so cool). There is a box under mine that I unwrap to discover a GameBoy Advance! “No WAY!” I scream. She even got me a game to go with it. In both Mike’s and my Buckets we had Peeps (Mike’s favorite), Cadbury chocolate mini-eggs (my favorite), and mini bottles of Goldshlogger, whiskey, and vodka (everyone’s favorite!). Later that evening she even let me switch the channel from the movie Magnolia to a show I like to watch on Cartoon Network's [Adult Swim].

How could I ever find anyone better than this woman? I can’t. She is so freak’n awesome! I love this chick.

To all you guys out there, I have one thing to say…I WIN! My chick is the best.


bobo said...

She got you a GameBoy? She encourages you to play video games? She goes to strip clubs? Young man, you have found Venus arising from the surf and, better yet, actually convinced her to marry you. Congratulations, you have obtained complete and total nerdvana.

SebbaJ said...

For the record, it was a group decision to go to Babes, and Miles' idea...I just didn't disagree. ;) I must agree that LJ is an awesome chick. I don't have many girl friends and I didn't care to expand my social circle with any of them either, but having spent the last few weeks with LJ, I have found someone that I can laugh and really be myself with. You two still make me ill though.

Da Beef said...

WOW!!!! How sweet! Laura is awesome. You are a lucky man Mark! It takes a strong man to be that trusting of his wife. Kudos to both of you. You guys are great together.

LJ said...

Wow, I'm blushing...because of the strip club story and all the compliments. It was the very first time I've ever been to such an establishment, but it was fun. Glad the new toys made you happy. Love ya.

Brillig said...

Ah, mi amore'

ghanima said...

I'm so glad to hear that marriage has worked out so well for so many of my male contemporaries. I'm sure some of it is due to the number of intelligent men I've associated myself with, but I'm equally sure that it's 'cause the intelligent women they pick really are awesome women. :)