Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Touchy Feely

I’ve been thinking about myself and my life a lot lately. I am currently in this class, sort of an art critique thing, and one of the assignments is to present something artistic about oneself. It can be visual or auditory or performance or literary, whatever. This is posing quite a problem for me. I have been thinking…hell, racking my brain for how I can present myself. The real rub is that whatever I do, it better be fucking good. I can’t half-ass this like so many other projects that students do. Not only will the teacher be evaluating it but the entire class as well. And my project will be along side other works of people that are quite good. I can’t just put that self sketch on notebook paper up next to the large and immaculately composed work of an art major and not have mine look like the crap it is.

So, I have been reflecting on myself and my life thus far to get some sort of inspiration. I’ve thought about my childhood and adolescence all the way to now. I realize that melodrama and dark tormented tragedy makes people come off as deep but I think I’m going to have to be honest here…I’m a happy person. I like myself. I like who I am and where I’m going. I think I have done alright judging by my own standards. Do I have regrets? Yeah. I have skeletons in the closet and have had disappointments. But those things are not even in the picture of my general mentality. I put those things away in my mind’s attic to be dusted off upon those rare incidences of introspection. I think this helps me have an over all good outlook on things.

How does this help me get this damn project done though? Well, it doesn’t. But, by way of this assignment I have done some critical thinking about myself. That doesn’t happen all that often. I think its good to sit down and asses yourself every once in a while. Now I just need to figure out how to get this project done. I’ve heard some good suggestions but I think I need to figure this out for myself. I just hope it comes soon the close of the semester is slowly approaching.

1 comment:

SebbaJ said...

Mark, I try not to analyze things - instead I go by whether it feels right. BUT I am a girl. I hope you figure out how you want to express yourself. I'm sure you'll kick ass whatever you decide to do. Good luck with it.