Sunday, November 21, 2004

Eat you fatties, EAT!

For those of you who thought it couldn’t be done, here it is… The Hardee’s Monster Thick Burger. This sandwich answers the question all the fast food market researchers have been asking since the beginning, “What do all the fuckin’ fatties out there really want?” This Burger consists of two patties (1/3 pound each), four slices of bacon, three pieces of cheese, a huge dollop of mayo, and so you don’t get your fingers too greasy, a regular size bun. You may be asking yourself “Jeez, how much fat could be in a sandwich that big?”
Answer: 107grams of fat, 1,420 calories. By the way, that was just the sandwich not the value meal that goes with it…or the shake you’ll be getting too you triple chinned behemoth. You hearing all this Courtney or PhatPat?
I have never understood needing that much meat in one sitting anyway. I can enjoy a Wendy’s Big Bacon Classic, rarely, but I could never eat a sandwich that had more than one patty. I always wondered who was ordering those sandwiches that had two or three patties in there. I imagined it was designed for those horribly fat guys that look greasy all the time or the women who go to Wal-mart that are so fat that they have to use the motorized carts because they are too fat too move under their own power for too long. Yeah, you know who I’m talking about. The people who wear clothing that have to stretch otherwise they couldn’t get into it. People that you see and think, ”Wow, you gave up on ever eating a salad without bacon on it a long time ago didn’t you?”
I just can’t understand giving up the ability to run, jump, swim, climb, etc. so that you could just eat. And don’t tell me that its glandular, or it’s a disease. Its not! What it is is a weak person who gives in to whatever whim they think will make them feel good. You take any overweight person out there and stick them on a diet to where they can’t eat whatever they want and I guarantee they will loose weight and be normal eventually.
I once had an economics Professor who was so fat he could only walk short distances before his legs gave out. The man would have to lift up the fat around his mid section just to sit in a chair with arms. He once said in class that each of us should go out and run and dance and use our bodies because he wished that he still could. He was on the verge of tears when he said this. I remember thinking at that moment that if we were on a battlefield and he was there lying on the ground, too tired to carry on, I would have to put him down. It would be a mercy killing. Whoa, I am off topic.Anyway, Hardee’s should be ashamed of its latest creation. But what do you people think? Should a fast food industry be able to make whatever they want or should they have some regard for the health of their consumers?

1 comment:

Your New Sleeping Aid said...

Its a travesty! Its an abomination! To think, in our inflated society (e.g., bunches of fatties) they would produce such a disgusting product! Two patties and three slices of cheese and......
MMM Rike I ras sa-ring...... Its shick how zeezze shuns shove bishes can do shush a thin' {burp}
p.s. Fuck you too.