Tuesday, December 13, 2005

It Started So Innocently

Yesterday was my 27th birthday and here’s how it all went down.

I went into work around 10:00am and got off at about 6:00pm at that time LJ picked me up and drove me to a go-kart track with some friends. We pull up around 6:15 and went in. There Mike, Beth and B-rad were waiting for us. The track sadly was closed, which is too bad because I can lay some mean rubber on the go-kart track. We said “whatever” and play some ski-ball before making different plans.

“Where is the nearest bar that you can smoke in?” I ask. “Babes!” (a local strip club) Mike answers with a little more enthusiasm than the situation warranted. Everyone is sort of unsure of what to do so I offer “How about the bowling alley on Ninth?”. This was met with general approval so we go.

At 6:50 we got a lane and our first pitcher of beer. Danny shows up shortly after and we all settle in. The next lane is filled with teenage rednecks and their knocked up girlfriends and I can remember thinking to myself “God, what a bunch of uncouth loudmouths.” Oh, how irony can make fools of us all. At 7:45 we finished our first game and head to the bar where everyone sits down to smoke and much more beer is consumed. Then back to the lanes for one more round.

This is the point in the evening when most of the beer was consumed the volume of our voices rose and high jinks ensued. Mike drank God knows how much but as far as I know I was keeping up with him. He got crazy. Not to say the rest of us were much better. After countless spilled beers, more than a few friendly punches and a couple of epic tumbles (one off of a table another three on the lane, courtesy of Mike). The manager was coming over and asking us to keep it down and to revoke Mike’s bowling license. I, being the responsible 27-year-old smoothed things over twice then at the end of the game helped to Shepard everyone out before the cops were called, after I paid the entire bowling tab I might add.

Once outside however things got rowdier. Long story short Mike slipped a Bar glass in Beth’s purse that shattered after Mike dropkicked it, purse and all. He had to leave his car there and one of the bowling alley employees was sent out to make sure that we left. I got Mike home and he stayed in the bathroom most of the night. Note exhibit 1-A: Pay close attention to the bottom left where you can clearly see the pool of vomit. Later vomit pool is indicated by the blue outline.

Saving the best for last…I got a GUITAR! Not that I know how to play it but I got a GUITAR! It’s awesome. So now I have to learn to play it. I have to admit I was not expecting it. To everyone involved kudos for keeping it so secret and thanks a million to all, even those who helped LJ through the process. This wasn’t easy for her. Mike got me a stand for it and a cool strap though I had to open his tonight because he was in no shape after I got him home…friggin’ lightweight. All in all it was the best birthday ever.

P.S. I will post a picture of my new baby and me after some minor alterations are made per LJ’s advice.


Thousandlegs said...

Well, it seems as though you can never take your friends out with you on your birthday. Somehow they always end up getting more smashed than the, in this case, birthday boy. Kids these days, what can you do. All in all, it was a great time...we all had some drinks, learned a lot about each other, and all gained a new found respect for frat boys in orange sweaters.

Da Beef said...

I had fun. But I know I'm a lightweight! I specifically remember telling you all I didn't want anymore beer though! That didn't seem to matter...but did anything really? I know we owe you some $...thanks bday boy!!!! Sorry we are all a bunch o' lushes...at least it was memorable....for some anyways!

mommyjolle said...

Hmmm, really.

Your New Sleeping Aid said...

I wish i was there. I could've hung with you. Me and my buddy Justin have been doing some olympic training for the beer-cathalon. Saturdays are our focus days. Usually our workout starts around 1:00 p.m. and ends at 3:00 a.m.
We arent very disciplined, though. I usually switch to burbon around 7 p.m. and almost guaranteed, a jaeger bomb or 3 will be consumed. Delicious.
I think we will be competitive by March.

Mad Mike said...

I guess this is how Tyson first felt after getting his ass kicked by Douglas. I could have been a contender... I had so much going for me...guess I'm just washed up. I guess I'll just have to build up a new immunity to ohh let's say Iocaine powder.

thousandlegs said...


Brian said...

Man i can't imagine what kind of shape Courtney must be in. It sounds like he's training extra hard. Does he have something to prove in 2006's Beercathlon?