Sunday, May 21, 2006

Eat Shit

So, I was out walking my dog the other day and per usual, Zeus, my eighty pound wonder-mutt, suddenly was dragging me over to something he had to check out. Before I could stop him he scarfed down a sizable chunk of dog poo. “Great” I think. I feel like the parent of the child who is constantly eating glue or some other rather nasty little habit. As I’m walking back to the apartment, Zeus happily bounding in front, satisfied no doubt in his found culinary treasure, I was thinking “Hmmm, why is there such a stigma attached to this?”

Yeah, yeah I know its poo. I know, I know. Gross as it is to us, maybe dogs just like the taste. I mean they aren’t pent up by social graces like we are and they aren’t people so why stress about it. Why not embrace it as their natural preference. Look at it this way you don’t get on your dog for liking the crotch notch and you don’t get onto them for sniffing other dog’s poop chutes, so why get on them about eating sod snickers? (Too much rhyming?) Anyway, so thinking about it I decided to give the idea to the old Half-Assed Innovations crew as I do any other half conceived notions. And here is what they gave me.

Here’s the thing: No overhead cost for product production or R&D. Simple box and wrapper design. All we need to do is alter people’s preconceived notions that dogs shouldn’t eat poo. Once that’s done its all profit baby.

Oh, yeah and while they were working on it the H/A staff also gave me this idea for future market development…”Scroungey’s Grab-Bag”, much the same as Pooties only for babies. We will just fill the boxes with anything a toddler might find and want to put in its mouth. With an adorable toddler aged mascot who looks like a sailor and is always searching for the next treat to taste. I had one word for my staff at that point…”brilliant”.


Your New Sleeping Aid said...

THis disturbs me. When you take your first step towards world domination, i am pretty sure i best be on your team. Anyone whith yhour creative brilliance would be a dangerous adversary.

Mad Mike said...

a dangerous adversary indeed, sounds like a perfect arch enemy...who dreams about doggy poo flavored treats.