One Year Anniversary Spectacular!

Well, it’s been a whole year of blogging. The day has actually come and past and I posted nothing, however I feel that is in keeping with the frequency of all my postings. What a year though. Ya know, I have no idea how many posts I have actually written. It should be quite a few. I was at work and reading back over many past articles and it was only then I realized my one-year anniversary was even coming up. Those of you who know me are probably not surprised (I don’t remember dates, which is curious because I am striving to be a historian).

Anyway, I thought about how best to celebrate the anniversary and decided that doing what most TV shows do when they hit some landmark would be best. Yes, this is the copout, “Greatest Moments Reel”…in blog form. I have scoured my archives looking for my favorite subjects and posts and have compiled a few that I found fun or interesting or whatever. And just for kicks I even put it into a familiar Top-Ten list format.

10) Christmas Values as told by Sinjon
9) Random Discovery
8) Men on Men
7) Higher Power
6) Jesus is my Hommie
5) We all need a Hero
4) Sty in the Eye
3) Medical Mayhem
2) I Pledge?
1) The Best Girl Ever...

Good stuff, good stuff. It was really tough finding some good blogs back there let me tell you. I’ve covered a lot of subjects and made some cool blog-buddies along the way. All in all I’d say it’s been a cool and worthwhile venture. I plan to keep on truckin' now so that you the reader can be looking forward to more interesting and gut wrenchingly Half-Assed blogs ahead. Thanks everybody for taking the time to read my stuff. I appreciate it.

XYZ

So, last weekend I went to my bud, Andrew’s, wedding in Savannah. Andrew has been a friend of mine since Boy Scouts. He and I remained friends during college and have had many a hilarious adventure together. I was asked to be a groomsman for the wedding and took great pride in it. LJ and I rented a car drove up, got a hotel, rented the tux, got the gift and everything. The wedding was lovely, but there was one troubling thing that happened.

This may have been better left unsaid, (which was to be the title of this post. I felt the current one captured more of the essence though) but I thought it was hilarious and had to share it. Maybe it can be an anecdote that Andrew can tell for years to come. Anyway, I got to the hotel where the other groomsmen were changing for the ceremony and put on my tux in the bathroom. All of us then went down stairs and accompanied guests on rented trolleys to a beautiful square downtown. We seated people and handed out programs. Then stood in front of the whole congregation and afterward escorted the bridesmaids back down the isle. The wedding party then hung out for a while and took a million pictures in all sorts of poses. Then hopped the trolleys back to the hotel for the reception. Later, I danced with LJ on an empty dance floor to some swing music (no one swings, go figure) so all eyes were on us. We even got applause! It was after downing some refreshments that the urge hit. I went to the bathroom to discover that I didn’t need to open my fly. That’s right it was already down. Why was it already down? Because, it had been down from the time I put on my tux to the time I went to the bathroom at the reception. Now, if you need to re-read all that with the knowledge of my awkward situation feel free, you may have missed something...much like I had.

Embarrassing I know, but still funny as hell. I came back and told LJ immediately. I’m just glad the "old boy" didn’t decide to make any unscheduled appearances while the ceremony was underway. Man, Stephanie would have never let me see Andrew again and probably would have had me shot by the police officer assigned to the square to keep the peace. Maybe at least gotten me arrested for public indecency…, which I would have had to agree to. The more I thought about it though, the more I thought, “Hey, this should be a wedding tradition, kinda like Groundhog’s Day. One of the groomsmen, who isn’t a prude, comes with the barn door open and if the junk falls out the marriage may end in divorce, but if it stays in then the marriage will be long and happy one.” I think that this may have been the best gift I could have given Andrew in the end.

Good luck guys and if my junk did make it into any of the pictures...I want copies.

Shed a Tear and Rejoice

We had a family meeting the other night and it has been decided that the satellite television bill has gotten way too high so we’re dumping it in exchange for high-speed Internet. I feel like an addict who got clean, then was thrust into a crack house for six months. Let me explain…

Before LJ and I got married we made up a budget so that we could be responsible with our money. We figured in everything from rent to extra spending cash. We thought that $65 or so was better spent on dinners, movies, or evenings out rather than cable television. We also used the cheapest dial-up web provider we could find and we didn’t have cell phones so there were no bills other than rent and utilities. “Like Robinson Caruso, it’s as primitive as can be”

When we moved into our first house all we had was a small collection of movies and some video games. We didn’t have an antenna so we couldn’t even watch local broadcasting. I have to admit it took a month or so to not feel the pull to watch TV. After a while though I got to a point where I really didn’t even care. I could walk into someone’s house where the TV was on and I wouldn’t pay attention to it even if everyone else were enrapt. Plus, me start to be getting better in my mental faculties. It was like this for a year and a half. Then we moved into a new house, after hurricane Ivan, with a friend named Mike.

Mike had lived very much the opposite. He and his ex-wife had cell phones, cable Internet, satellite television, and cable TV (yeah, cable and satellite). So they had it all man. After we moved in together Mike got satellite TV again and it has been downhill for me ever since. I was helpless when the option of TV came back into my life. I would binge like no one would understand. Now though it is all over.

We get DSL tomorrow! Yay! Now I can jump from web page to web page at break-neck speeds. Don’t be surprised if you see some flaming skid marks on your blogs like in “Back to the Future”, it was probably just me speeding off to my next destination. Mike also reminded me that with our computers linked to the same network we could game together. Maybe I’ll hold a Rainbow Six web party for all my old buds that used to do the LAN party thing with me. Anyway, It’s a good trade in my opinion but I will miss some near and dear shows that became close to heart.

[Our Dearly Departed]

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Top Gear

The Venture Brothers

The Dailey Show

and yes, The World's Most Amazing Videos

I will miss you all...

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes...

Like the new décor? Well, it’s October and October means Halloween and that means LJ and Mark’s favorite time of the year! So I did some redecorating on my site to accommodate. You may also have noticed that I changed my URL. Yeah, that was a bit of a hassle I know but if you recall brilligmark was the old URL and it just made sense to change it before someone else swooped in and took the name of the site "Half-Assed Opinions". Anyway, the Halloween décor won’t be permanent but you also will not see the old look again either. I looked back…back…back into the distant Half-Assed Archives and found that I started this blog on October 24^th of last year. So to celebrate my anniversary I will give the old blog a, much needed, face-lift. I’ve been working with some things to help make the page more eye appealing and have better functionality so I hope it will be a big improvement. Thanks for stopping by and Happy Halloween!